there's a timing for everything.

and now,it is time for maturity.2008 one of the hardest year i've been through. But now, its still too early to say anything.
But i see ripening of harvests end of this year and now, its the season to plough. To conceive and gestate.
I see warriors, fighters and knights charging into darkness. Fearless and bold, they have victory engraved in their hearts like word engraved on their swords.

yet, another side of me manifests fear, doubts and hopelessness.
"maybe they are not going to make it afterall".
"maybe they are just fools holding on to what they make up"
" perhaps its just too tough"
"im just not strong enough"
"sigh, why cant i just choose the easy way out?"

well guys, im sure you all have these thoughts running through your mind during certain phases of your lives. We always want the best of something, dont we? However, we seem to be always caught in between... why?
i've been pondering over this question for sometime and i've met people who have had great visions[actually everybody has] and they seem to lament over that. People constantly whine and complain, feeling overwhelmed by this and that, yet at another moment, high and happy. i was like that too. But i've changed. i know how to use my mind for a greater cause and all these are possible only through God.

Some might say, but i have no qualms controlling my mind! yea, true. But can you last? Throughout my lifetime(though short one), i believed in myself. Cause my sister's like that, so i emulate after them. Soon, i found out that somethings are just too HARD. i just cudnt balance. On one hand, i wanted to friends that i can hangout with, on the other, i want to be great and mighty. My relationship with my family was bad, cause i dislike being nagged at and kept repeating the same mistakes( hoo xinyi,this might be a good part to understand your brother!) cause i just couldnt be bothered to change or tried to,but felt that its too hard. I've been juggling with lots of things and i just want the best out of everything. But i cant and my mind was constantly in a turmoil.i cried( yes, guys cry too okay.but always secretly) and just felt like shit.

But by faith,things changed. im more than a conqueror. dreams seem nearer like never before. And the faith i mean here, i not pure naive-ness, but faith that has been tested, stood still and grew.

At the cross-road of our lives now, we can choose. Everyone in their right mind would choose the former. But how its gona happen? I know my answer. Yours?Are you going to press in when the going gets tough? 6weeks to go..

Time to mature...
This time its a whole new level, whole new battle.
Im gona be that knight.Charging into unchartered territory with faith.

i know what im going to see.
I just cant see light yet.Neither can an embryo undergoing gestation...
Guarding my mind and heart with all diligence!